If you know me, and/or have read some of my previous blogs, chances are you’ll know two things about me: I love horses and I quite like to find the lessons in things that life throws our way.
If you’re not a horse person, you might not know that those two things are the perfect combination, as you never stop learning when it comes to horses. And if you think you’ve learnt all there is to know about horses, well…you’re a liar.
The title of this post will have given away the direction that this is heading in, but I should just clarify one thing. I use the term “equestrian comeback” very loosely. This is no Mark-Todd-coming-out-of-retirement-to-compete-at-the-Olympics.
But I was fortunate to be offered to ride the horse of a good friend, and so in February this year I dusted off my riding boots, bought a new helmet (safety first of course), nicked a pair of my Mum’s jodhpurs and got back in the saddle.
It’s the first time in about ten years that I’ve ridden consistently, so it’s safe to say I rediscovered a fair few muscles that I’d forgotten existed.
Although I’ve learnt and relearnt a few things since coming out of “retirement” there have been two major lessons I’ve been reminded of that relate to both horses and the world beyond them. I’m going to share one today, and one in another upcoming post.
The first lesson, and quite possibly the most important one, is that you can only control what you can control. And you have to let go of what you can’t.
Horses very much have a mind of their own, and whatever you may believe, they will do exactly what they want to do. Sometimes that will align with what you want to do, but sometimes it won’t, and that’s up to them, not you.
There can be other variables at play too.
Two months into my “comeback” I entered a local Working Equitation competition, a discipline I’d not competed in before.
And here is where I really learnt this lesson.
I’m competitive by nature and always set high standards for myself, so of course I was going to have a certain level of expectation of my performance at this competition. But I also knew that there would be a lot that I couldn’t control.
To start with, as my aforementioned friend would say, I was riding a thing called a horse. Additionally, two of the three elements at this competition were judged by individuals, meaning that although there is a criteria to judge by, the results still have an element of subjectivity about them.
As a result I set myself three goals for the competition, and I told myself it didn’t matter what else happened on the day. If I reached those goals I had succeeded. The important part here is that those goals had to be within my control, or at least mostly within my control.
These were things that I’d worked on as I’d prepared for the competition, they were things I knew both me and the horse were capable of, and things that I knew that if I gave the horse the right signal, he would do them.
So how did the competition go?
Well, it’s safe to say I was grateful that I’d set those goals, because it was not a fairytale comeback. Put it this way: as I was doing the first element of the competition, the dominant thought I had was one of sympathy for the judge, because our performance was so far from “ideal” that I wasn’t sure where she’d even begin.
It turns out I should have saved my sympathy because she had absolutely none for me.
This level of performance continued on to the second element of the day too, and to a lesser extent, the third. Despite our weeks of preparation, the cause of the calamitous performance was outside of both mine and the horse’s control.
But at the end of the day, as I reflected on my first equestrian competition in more than ten years, glass of wine in hand, I smiled because despite everything, I had achieved two of the three goals I set myself.
There is so much in life that we have absolutely no control over, and sometimes us humans find it hard to accept that and let those things go. But when you focus on what is in your control, the outcome can be so much brighter than you realise.
So today I challenge you: what can you control to make today a great day?
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
That’s all for now,
Jordyn x
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